Puppy play time.

A little desperate

I just used a pumice stone to file my nails because I couldn't find my nail file. That's pretty desperate right? Oh wait, there was that time I broke my nail while waiting at my highschool bus stop and attempted to use the sidewalk. Hey, it did soften the edge a little.

So at any rate......

I drew you a picture. This is my family.... aren't we good looking?

Supposed

I am doing what I am supposed to be doing
I am doing what I am supposed
to be.

It's a little song that I made up in my head one day when I realized I am always thinking and often worrying about what I am going to do next or, what I should be doing now instead. So, I sing that little song to remind me to focus on now, enjoy now. Instead of worrying about the next moment and having a life time of worried rushed moments. Besides, who the hell knows what I am supposed to being doing?

I have to sing that song a lot it seems. Hmm, maybe I need a new song. But it has a really cool little piccolo solo that goes all whhhoooo whoo whooooooooowhowhowho wo woo ( it sounds less like a train in my head). I mainly choose piccolo because it sounds bohemian, and those bohemian people seem content. Also, piccolo is a fun word to say, try it.

My body is a DICK!

So every single time I plan a trip my body decides to get all sick. D and I are going to a hot air balloon fest this Saturday and now my face is all drainy and gross, my left eye is watering, my glands are swollen, my throat hurts from mouth breathing and I keep sneezing. Last trip we went on, same thing and the one before that and the one before that...you get the point. For the love.

Screw you body.. screw you! Next time I am going on a trip I'm not telling you.

Oh and you know how noses don't work so well when they are stuffed up? So I ate chicken garlic soup for lunch and had no idea how horrible my breath was until the end of the day when a pregnant co-worker almost vomited when I talked to her. Nice.

Like I said- my body... total Dick.

LATER THAT NIGHT- my stupid sick mouth can't taste anything, except for possibly maybe the Lusty Monk mustard that D and I just brought back from NC. The mustard that I have been waiting for an excuse to eat, plus it would probably clear out my nose , win win! But the damn Lusty Monk is brand new and stupid sick arms can't open the stupid bottle. Damn you body. Damn you monks and your lusty goodness
taunting me.

LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- I just beat the stupid jar with a knife like my mom showed me to do. Wack wack wack, put a towel over the lid, twist twist twist, grunt grunt grunt. No go. Ahhh. Set the jar down, then grab it up as to suprise it "Ah ha lid take this," wack wack wack, twist twist twist, grunt grunt grunt. Nothing. Walk away sniffiling while giving jar dirty look.


LATER LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- thought the scare tactic would work again. Nope.



LATER LATER LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- D came home and opened the jar.

D- Watch this honey- wack it on the counter.

Me- No no no I did the wack with a knife trick- only my sick arms won't work.

D-Yes that will work, but this is easier- watch. Wack wack, twist. Jar open.

Me-Pfffttt- I'm sick! (dirty look-walk away smiling)

Tomato

Pasta Time

So peeps guess what? Yours truly can make fresh pasta... with a little help from D of course! I show you exhibit A

The Wheeze!!

Snow told me the other day that I hadn't posted in ...oh... Months! Well, I did get that pug puppy; I named her Wheezy and she is the greatest. People frequently threaten to steal her. She is a very affectionate lovable girl and she does lots of funny things like spend 15 minutes barking at herself in the mirror. Here are a few pictures of her.

The World

When there are so many places in the world to see, why do I try so hard to stay in just one place- only to complain that I want to see the world?

Just like me

It's just like me to already be off track. Of course I have plenty of excuses. One of them being that I fell and busted my ass yesterday while helping D move my cedar chest into his truck.

So after I did my running around errands all I wanted to do was rest my sore muscles. Which is exactly what I did with my Mommy. We watched Julie and Julia a very charming movie and ate soup. It was nice. Then D came home and gave me a muscle relaxer and I was asleep by 83o.

Anyway, here are two little ones.

We(D and I) are like a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

I am a spider monkey with Tourette's .

Brillant Idea

Scrap of Paper Mondays- I have lots of ideas for stories I want to write or blog about or some just dreams. I write most of them as I go through the day on whatever surface is available; little scraps of paper. Every Monday I am going to gather the scraps of paper and blog about it. Hopefully it will provide us both with a much needed laugh. (Though remember my track record for procrastination so maybe don't get too set on the whole Monday thing.)

Interrupted

I interrupt this blog post that was going to contain - haunted hotel stories, me learning something about myself, Santa Bar Crawl and more to report on our dog.

Chance our lovable rescue brendal pitt-boxer mix just tripped me as I was walking across the living room with my laptop. (I am having a hard time constructing sentences right now. I keep wondering if they are run-ons.(is run-ons even a word? See what I mean.) Damn trying to learn grammar- always getting in my way. I'll be happy when it becomes second nature; like the way you arrive home from work not really remembering how you got there.) I had the open laptop balanced in my arms it was playing Jack Johnson Rodeo Clowns. I took two steps towards the couch trying to lift the cords from the back and keep them from tripping me. Apparently my computers cords and I had come in between Chance and his beloved green ball. The cord began to hit him in the head and stopped me short as I was walking. Though he could have easily taken a step back and solve the problem he refused to move as I proceeded to trip and try to balance the computer. It was then that I realized he was all tangled up and getting whacked in the head. "Chance buddy move!" I said loudly, not quite a yell but a firm command. Still he stood there looking at his ball but squinting his eyes as the cord continued to whack him. Finally I caught my balance and was able to pull the cords up and over his head allowing me to take the remaining two steps to the couch. Crazy damn (that is a loving damn) dog. He still didn't move, finally after a minute he grabbed his ball and brought it to me dripping with dog drool.

"I am not throwing that thing." I say to him. He then pulled out the doggie charm. He pouted and looked as sad as one of those dogs in the Sarah Maclaughin videos where they are dogs are abused and abandoned. Head down, puppy eyes up, ears flat back. I'm telling you, if they gave Oscars to dogs he would have just won. "Pathetic!" I said to him. I swear he smiled at me; smiled. Crazy crafty dog. I love him.

Now I am going to snuggle on the couch with my boys and watch a movie. It's relax and cook Sunday-my favorite day.

And, yes I did indeed throw the ball.

i did it

My blackberry is on fire and I need glasses now but I freakin did it... Go me! Goodnight blogland I must sleep.

Ashtray

Tomorrow supposedly I could spend all night at a bar in Norfolk and not smell like one. I will have to see for myself- I'm hopetical!

divorced

It was my fault too. At the end I knew how to push his buttons. I would be passive aggressive and watch him explode hoping this time it would be bad enough so I could leave.

books

Could blogs be modern days books? Are less books being written because people can be "published" online?

grown up

I don't think I will feel like a grown up until I know what's for dinner. I work, I own a house a car, I pay taxes, I vote, I should feel grown up. Nope. I think it comes down to my Mom always knowing what was for dinner. Like it's some great grown up mystery. She never asked anyone else. Never the "I don't know what do you want?" game. She just knew... Because she was grown up was my guess. It was probably because she had no one to ask she was it-the end of the line. Maybe it was because she was a mom. Since I don't see myself as a mom or alone I guess I'll never grow up.

Birth control

Can they hurry up with the male form already? Seriously, if they can make a pill to keep it hard surely they can make one to have it shoot blanks.

Sick

The good thing about being sick is it will help me lose those Thanksgiving pounds.

String cheese

I'm pretty positive it tastes beTter if you rip it apart instead of just eating it whole.

Obessed

I obsess about pictures of myself. So much so that often I won't look at pictures of me for fear that I will spot something I don't like. For example one time I had this wonderful pic of me and two of my best girl friends. We are all smiling we all look cute we are obviously having fun-great photo. Then I spot it..the flaw. For some reason I noticed that my under arms looked yellow. That was it picture went down. Not only that but I checked my under arms in every other pic I had ever taken. I stood in the mirror for hours examining my under arms. I changed my deodrant. Crazy. I never look at anyone elses arm pits (except for 6 months after that photo) probably no one looked at mine. Still will not let a camera see that angle. Obsessed.

Kids

I don't really want any. That doesn't make me a monster yet so many people look at me that way when I tell them that.

Sleeves

The other day it was chilly in the house so I put on a sweater over my long sleeved shirt. I instantly grabbed and held my sleeve in my fist as I pushed my arm through the sweater sleeve to keep my shirt sleeve from bunching up and being uncomfortable.

It made me think of all the times as a child my parents had me hold my sleeve in my fist as they dressed me in tiny coats and sweaters. It struck me as very thoughtful as it was hard to get me to do it and it was only for my comfort not a necessity.
Thanks Mom and Dad.

Poser

Sometimes I feel like a poser. I have all these things that I am interested in; writing, photography, dance, baking...but I'm not really good at any of them and I never finish anything. I'm a jack of all trades but a master of none. Though I do have fun and I guess that's what really matters.

Christmas

I was trying to come up with a list of reasons I hate Christmas and all I could think of was things I like. The lights, choosing gifts, wrapping gifts, Christmas trees, cookies I could keep going. Then I thought that Christmas is like a huge party that everyone is preparing for so we can all commiserate together and that is what I really like about Christmas.

Baking

There are so many little baking gadgets that help make baking easier like the nice wire racks I have. I love to bake cookies and cakes and cool them on the racks. Then I remember my Mom teaching me to fold over the oven mit to let air flow underneath pans and I wonder if using racks is cheating.

Facebook

Sometimes a status update will pop up in my head it's slightly alarming. Facebook has changed the way I think.

Thankful

In honor of Thanksgiving here is 10 things I am thankful for:

1. The way my nose normally works allowing me to breath through it as well as smell things thus allowing food to have taste.

2. Yummy food- tasty and flavorful such as bread, sushi, bread, honey crisp apples,chocolate, D's shrimp tacos, bread.

3. Coffee it smells good, it tastes good, it feels good going down, it makes me hyper and happy!

4. My awesome friends-they make life better and laugh at my jokes.

5. Dogs- they make you feel like a rockstar when you ccome home all excited and bouncy even if you smell or look bad.

6. My family they are wonderful and laugh at my jokes.

7. Books- I read everyday and it's a great escape, especially when I stay awake long enough to read more than one sentence.

8. Sundays with D- my favorite time of the week. We have a beer and cook together then we eat and pick apart the meal-it's fabulous!

9. D- he makes me laugh everyday!

10. Finally learning not to ask lose lose questions. Like the other day I almost asked Drew if I he could tell I've gained weight. If he says no I would call him a liar I know I have. If he says yes Ill be hurt. Lose lose-keepmouth shut.

Number 17

So here it is 620pm on Nov 30th and I have only posted 13 out of 30 blogs, typical for me. Not only am I 17 blogs shy but I am sick in a strange town alone in a hotel with no internet connection. I am blogging from my blackberry. I'm going to attempt to blog 17 times before tomorrow. Warning the following 16 blogs are not going to be well edited if at all. And yes in true A fashion this one is going to count.

Pug puppy

Well I have made it through the first parts of the Mid Atlantic Pug Rescue requirements.

Application completed .

References called and Thank you very much for selling me so well.

Phone interview, went very well. I love that pug lady. I want to squeeze her and hug her.

Now I am waiting for word about the home inspection. Then I hope to be getting a puppy. I have it narrowed to two at the moment. Both little girls, one fawn, one black.

I hope I get one soon. D promised we would do a Christmas Card this year and I want the little girl in the picture. I know I am a dork.

Dear Nor'easter

Dear Nor'easter,



I am glad you are finally gone and everyone can begin to pick up the pieces. I finally have my internet access back after two long days. You were kind of fun though, the day that D and I drove around to take pictures of your damage and stomp in puddles.



-A

Sleeves

Not on schedule..

Totally off schedule, but I am going to try my best to keep going. Not do the whole I ate a piece of candy now I should scrap the diet and eat a pizza, tacos, cheese, bread, and chocolate ice cream thing. I'm going to keep going and see how I do.

There is a nor'easter hitting us right now and D and I are going to bundle on the couch, sip coffee (well I will sip coffee D will probably have a Coke or juice) and watch movies. We already drove through flooded sheets watching as cars were floating and people were out taking pictures up to their thighs in water. I love this type of weather strangely enough and always secretly wish that it will last longer and cause more damage (not harming anyone of course) than they predicted. It is somehow exciting. Is that wrong?

It's not easy being green

I somehow broke my coffee pot about a month ago. I don't know what happened but it is the third coffee pot to go down like this. I fill it with water, add the filter then coffee, press on and wait and wait and wait. No coffee. So I hit the on button a few times. On on on on on ON! No go. Then I unplug the pot and plug it back in On on on on. Nothing. "Another one bites the dust!" I say to D.

I pull out my handy dandy french press. "Well this is supposed to make better coffee anyway, so it will be fine." Only that requires me to boil water then add the water and wait at least four minutes which seems like a lifetime. After a few tries I get the method down pat. My favorite part is using the digital thermometer to ensure the proper temperature. I pride myself on being green since I don't use filters in the french press.

Then I realize that I use about a gallon of water rinsing the grounds out each morning and maybe it would be better if I just got a new coffee pot. Or maybe I am lazy and want to just push a button. But I do like the ritual of boiling the water and waiting for the perfect temp. I just need a new method of rinsing the ground out so I can actually be green and not just pretend.

Lucky me

You know doing this 30 posts in 30 days thing during the month of my birth has made me realize what a lucky girl I am.

Today I spent the day with my Mom celebrating my birthday. She took me to lunch, bought me gifts; two books (0ne about baking with chocolate that she insisted I must have), a dough scooper, and spring forms pans (I am very much on a baking kick right now). Oh and she also let me use her library card to check out a book on cd I've been wanting.

It was a great day, not just because of the all the spoiling, but because I got to spend some quality time with the Moms and it was a gorgeous day.

When I read over my previous blogs I think-Geez it's like birthweek instead of birthday.

Lucky me.

Sunday

Sundays are never long enough. After a busy morning of errands to run D and I took Chance for a walk. Then I went to class, got out at 5:30, went home, ate the gumbo D made for dinner and sat on the couch to relax before I began writing. Next thing I know D is waking me, "Honey, it's time for bed." What??

Fun

Tonight were going to party like it's my birthday. There shall be wine and cheese and bread and fire and fun. Yeah me.

lovely

My first day as 32 was quite lovely. Special coffee and Christmas cake, swing dance lessons, tapas, so many Birthday wishes. It is a good start. But I still don't like the sound of 32.

It's my birthday!

When I was a kid there was a Pumping Station beside the trailer where I lived. One of those small white brick buildings that the city maintains. I never knew what actually went on inside the station-all the neighborhood kids guessed it was so all of our toilets could flush at one time without causing an explosion.

I just knew it had a very long cement driveway that was perfect for riding bikes, roller skating, drawing with chalk, playing four square, it also was home base during hide and seek. Since it was beside my home all the kids would come over and play.

One day when I was about 9 a friend and I were on the station driveway. Our arms linked over each others shoulders, she had a skate on her left foot and I had a skate on my right foot. We only had one pair of skates between us and this was the best and most fun solution we could come up with.

Somehow during our skating adventure we started discussing time. I told her that if we just closed our eyes and snapped our fingers we would instantly be older. Not just a second older but cool older.- staying up past midnight older, wearing make-up older, driving a car older, kissing a boy older.

We snapped and snapped and snapped til our fingers were sore and the street lights came on and we had to go home, disappointed that time had let us down.

Now here I am 32 and I am pretty sure it was due to all that snapping.

Park it

"GO ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO PARK!" is what you would hear if you are inside the car with me and I am trying to parallel park and another car is behind me.

I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can't do one smooth parking motion but instead reverse and forward about ten times, check my mirrors, still not in the spot so I pull out and start all over again. Unless of course there is now a new car behind me. In which case I will speed off cursing like a sailor.

"For the love of Christ! Can't a girl just park a car without an audience?"

Forget a busy street with sidewalk cafes where people can watch my hideous attempt. Not going to happen. If there is not a spot at the end of the line where I can just pull in, I will drive around and around. If I am lucky enough to be driving with someone who is not parallel parking disabled I yell "Chinese fire drill!" and make them park the car.

D knows this routine already and just drives to any location where parallel parking is required. But D wasn't with me tonight and I had to parallel park and lets just say my Mom would have washed my mouth out with soap. (Sorry Mom but there was a huge line of cars behind me.)

I did manage to park to car though, after only 3 attempts and sweaty pits to show for it. Thank goodness it's fall and I could wear a sweater jacket.

Spare tire

I got dressed for the gym yesterday- I put on my black strecthy capri pants, (the ones with the paint mark on the butt because I wore them once while painting and backed into a wall but they are my favorite workout pants so I refuse to throw them out and instead have prepared a come back should anyway poke fun of me at the gym) my sports bra, my fluorescent orange workout shirt and jacket, laced up my shoes, put my hair in a pony tail.

It's the closest I have come to a work out in over a week. That's right last week I thought up an excuse every single day.

Monday- it's my day off!
Tues- I have class.
Wed- I tried to give blood, didn't have enough iron, but still ate the cookies.
Thurs-It's yucky outside and I should work on my writing.
Fri- Masquerade, Family dinner, help a friend make poison apples for Halloween.
Sat- It's Halloween.
Sun-The only day I have to relax with D (somehow he made it to the gym, I needed to straighten the house.)

That brought me back to Mon- It's my day off. Aha! So I started to see the pattern and I started to feel the fat bulging over my skinny jeans. Would anyone look at me and call me fat? Not without a kick to the shin. Do I know that I am more squishy than just a few months ago. Absolutely! I have fought this up and down battle my whole life.

So I made plans with a friend to run last night. It's harder to stand up a friend-though I have done it. No, I got in my car and I drove over to my friends. About half way there I had a hard time steering the car. I was almost there so I kept going. When I parked and got out-flat tire.

Freaking flat tire- pretty soon I'll have a spare tire!

NaBloPoMo

Alright, I'm going to give this years National Blog Post Month a shot; 30 Blogs in 30 days. What will I have to talk about every day? I have no clue, but it seems like a fun challenge. So here goes.

Last night D made some fabulous Brunswick stew and I decided to try my hand at bread knots that my step mom makes every year for Christmas. I was pretty amazed with myself. They came out soft on the inside and beautiful brown on the outside. All I could say was, "I can't believe I made good bread!" over and over. Which sounded more like "Wa ant leve wa ma goo bed" since my mouth was full of bread each time I said it. I was also able to make a huge batch of brown and serve rolls. Nothing crazy happened for once.

Well, besides leaving a wooden spoon in the mixer while it was running and
having it break in half and bend one of my mixer attachments shooting half of the spoon across the kitchen. Making D duck saying, "What the heck was that?"

"Sorry honey I turned to look at the recipe and the spoon broke"

"Ok. New rule. No leaving spoons in the mixer."

"Good one honey."

Then he helped me check the dough for splinters. Kneading dough is super fabulous. I don't know why anyone would want to use a bread machine, then the machine gets to do the fun part. I even gave D a shot at kneading though he didn't like the flour all over his hands I did see him smile while punching the dough.

Sunday

Sometimes I have to make myself breathe. Not the inhalation of oxygen breathe. But the realize what I am doing and relax breathe.

Like standing in my kitchen on a Sunday planning out a schedule of cleaning and chores and then it hits me it's Sunday... Relax already.

Late

Reasons that I am late in the morning. (Besides stopping to write silly blogs.) I do things like:

Step 1Take my hair tie out of my hair.

Step 2 fix my hair.

Step 3 proceed to spend 5 minutes looking for the hair tie. "I just sat you down!" look around look around "Where the hell did the damn thing go!" look around look around.

Might as well sip some coffee. Presto!! Hair tie under my cup of coffee. Guess I took a sip between step 1 and 2. Ahhhh! And now I'm really late.

Widespread Panic

D and I went to the Widespread Panic with Allman Brothers concert Wed. night. We went with his brother Stephen and sister in law Lo. Just hanging with them is always a fabulous time, so I was very excited.

It was a nice night, though chilly. The bands were a bit too heavy on the jam sessions for my taste, I like some lyrics to wrap my mind around. But I had a nice beer buzz and good company and so I was enjoying the evening.

The wonderful thing about concerts is even if the music is not as great as you hoped there are always tons of people to watch. Trust me, a hippie jam band provides more people to watch than you can shake a stick at (whatever that means). (Oh and Cheryl I saw your boyfriend a million times over and I so wished you were there to see him.)

So I am standing on the lawn, large beer in my right hand, slowly moving to the music. My eyes scanning the crowd and enjoying the show. Right in front of us are a little group of hippies. In particular two hippies that were jamming out. I'll call them Hippie one and Hippie two. Hippie one was a cute petite girl with long blond dreads wearing a baby doll paisley shirt over baggy jeans. Hippie two is a tall lanky boy with an Afro of blond curls sticking out from his hippie beanie, wearing a tie die t-shirt.

They were swaying to the beat, arms flailing, bending at the waist and back up again. (Think Elaine from Seinfield on Ecstasy). I am enjoying watching them and thinking they must have strong abs. Then Hippie two comes over to us, a cup in his right hand, he steps close enough that I can smell the fruitiness of his drink.

"Hey man, take a sip of this man, it's great," slurs Hippie two.

"No thanks," I reply

"No really. It's awesome. You have to try it. It's..uh let me find out what it is."

Then Hippie two walks over to consult Hippie one. Hippie one whispers in Hippie two's ear for quite a while. Hippie two tilts his head back and laughs. Then he walks back to me.

"Ok," Hippie two giggles

"Ok man, it's crazy but just trust me. It's Redbull and vodka and rum and Coke. It sounds bad but really it's awesome. Try some."

"No thanks really, I am drinking beer," I say

"Come on just take a sip, just take a sip man."

"No thanks."

"Come on. There's no acid in it I swear man," Hippie two laughs.

"No thanks," I say laughing.

Hippie two then proceeds to try and get everyone in my group to take a sip.

"There is no acid in here I swear. I swear."

No one is budging of course and Hippie two finally gives up and walks back to Hippie one. They take turns drinking from the cup and laughing. While our little group keeps mocking...

"There's no acid in it. I swear man."

Huh?

Me- Honey, I think I am going to ask for a flamethrower for Christmas.

D- A flamethrower!? (giving me the- you are insane look)

Me- Yeah, so I can make creme brulee.

D- (laughing) You mean a blow torch.

Me- What's the difference?

D- (still laughing) A flame thrower is a huge machine gun type weapon that shoots flames and causes explosions.

Me- Well that should make a great creme brulee