coffee

Is it strange that I get excited at night as I prepare my coffee pot for the morning? I always think "Mmm.. in the morning I get to drink coffee."

sometimes

Sometimes, I say the dorkiest things. Two seconds after leaving my lips and I am already embarrassed. Depending on the company I may press lips together turning them white and hoping no one noticed. Or like tonight I may call myself out (hoping to distract my company).


Tonight D and I after long days at work, went out to have drinks with friends. A celebration for a friend who just got the news he was accepted into Wintertur. On the ride to the bar we decide we are not going to stay long because we are both tired.

After dinner a couple of drinks, and lots of fabulous conversation, I look at my phone and realize... IT'S AFTER 9! Ahh because we wanted to take a bath, relax and go to bed early. 9 is past my bedtime. Well, at least most nights. We make our excuses to friends and scurry to the car.



Once home D is drawing a bath. I walk in and play with his hair as he is leaning over swirling the warm water with his arm. "I am so tired," he moans. "I think we should have stayed home." "I don't think so," I respond. My fingers making his hair into a spiky mess. "Sleep may fuel our bodies, but those moments with friends fuel our soul," I try to clarify. Then I hear the words repeated in my head. "That was really corny wasn't it?" I giggle, my cheeks flushing. "Yes, but that's one of the reasons I love you," he says as he splashes me.

retro

my procrastination does not allow for posts to be timely. just be glad there is something new to read. and if the timeline doesn't match up... well who says that it has to?

ink blot

I was at the gym this morning doing my normal weight lifting work out. As I went to wipe my sweat of the seat I realized it looked like an ink blot. It did this each time I moved machines. So what did I see in my sweaty ink blots?

Coffee. Two people dancing. Mountains. Steaming bread.

I shall listen to my sweat.

shower

I sometimes worry that my back is not quite as clean as the rest of me.

Blog more

It's hard to dance like no one is watching when you know someone is watching. But I've never had a hard time dancing however in front of whomever. It's writing that has my tongue. I realized that I have been coming up with lots of ideas to blog, but then I don't follow through, scared of how I sound to others. Then I was jogging this morning (yeah me) and it hit me. Anyone who is reading this (all 3 of you) wants to hear the crazy thoughts in my brain or they wouldn't read it. So here is my attempt to force my own hand. I Shall blog at least twice a week. Don't look.

Birds on the roof

spread

i could spread myself farther.

Ice cream

I am sitting on my balcony enjoying the late evening sunshine and cool breeze, listening to the children play in the street. When I hear the familiar jingle of the ice cream man's tune, luring the children.

I am immediately transported to my childhood and I have the feeling I should be running inside screaming "Ice Cream Man!" and hoping my Mom will give me money, or helping my baby brother raid our piggy banks. "Hurry up or we'll miss him!" I must have said those words a hundred times.

I can hear the change clanging on the metal window counter. I can feel the ice cream man's patient stare as I slowly drag each penny to one side "1 2 3 4 5", how happy he must have been the year I learned to count by twos then fives.

I'm staring at the ice cream truck lost in my reverie when my gaze focuses on a large sign above the pictures of ice creams: NOW ACCEPTING MOST MAJOR CREDIT CARDS. The ice cream man accepts credit cards? I notice the children mostly standing with their parents. Pointing to which ice cream they want their parents sliding their plastic card.

I am saddened. There is nothing learned in this experience for them. There are no hard choices. "Well I can get one twin pop, two pieces of gum and candy teeth and share. Or I can get one screwball."( I always shared, but I would often make sure my half of the twin pop was bigger, because I was older, of course.) Or the excitement of finally having enough money to buy the coveted Mickey Mouse or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bars. There is no need to open a lemonade stand to raise money. No doing odd chores for a dime. "Just hand me the plastic Mom I can get whatever I want and then not appreciate it."

Call me old fashioned but I would prefer the sign said; NOW ACCEPTING PENNIES.

thick

sometimes i wish i were thicker.

Thank you Kate Winslet

I saw the movie The Reader the other night with a girlfriend. Since I don't watch TV much, I had no clue what the movie was about. NOT a light little chick flick. No giggles or tears of joy even.

One positive thing did come from the movie. Kate Winslet exposes her breasts, many times. If Kate Winslet does not have perfect perky breasts. Then I can hardly be expected to. So I say.. Thank you Kate Winslet. You did a superb acting job, and it's so nice to see a natural woman in the lime light.

love

"I have nothin but love for you, baby!", I wonder if he really truly means that.

The black man walking down the street. The extremely happy and satisfied looking black man in movies that says "I have nothin but love for you, baby," to other people, any people, all people.

If that is really true, then that man is much wiser than he appears. Because the type of love he is talking about is the type of love that makes you extremely happy and satisfied.

Time for new tires...

So, apparently I need new tires. D has told me this at least a dozen times. In fact for the past year D has been searching high and low for tires that will fit my car. These would be free tires of course, one of the perks of his job.

I would have to own one of the two cars in the world with freaky sized low profile tires. (Can't anyone in a new Tiburon just crash already? Well don't get hurt, but you know, help a girl out.) They may be nice to look at, but boy are the expensive to replace.

And so as I am driving down the high way hearing a high pitched buzzing sound and feeling my car vibrate... I decided to cure this the way I do most things, by turning the radio up really loud. Problem solved.

Well known stranger

The other day a friend asked "Is it hard to have a boyfriend after you have been married?"



I found it hard to respond as I thought of the time and the road from the end of marriage to here. The range of emotions I felt from that moment to this.... hurt, pensive, angry, scared, wavering, bargaining, realizing, angry, determined, ruthless, guilty, disbelieving, relieved, mourning, confused, hopeful, sad, empty, regretful, disappointed, bitter, infuriated, glad, indignant, guarded, careless, elated, wary, rash, doubting, relaxed, scoffing, unsure, hesitant, courageous, strong, ambivalent, excited, joyful, resolute, hopetical, capricious, certain, trusting, happy, bold, content, versed, open, indecisive, delighted, appreciative, free.... some of these lasted months, others fleeting.

Most days I don't even think of him. When I do, it is hard to believe that someone I once knew so intimately is now a stranger.

So at any rate the answer is ... not anymore.

Early morning workout..

So as hard as it is to force myself out of my nice warm cozy bed at 5:20 a.m., the arguments I have myself. You can workout after work. You went to bed an hour late last night you should really get more sleep. Is that a headache coming on? Surely sleep would be better than working out. Finally this worked You like your jeans to fit right? And you know you will be too tired to workout after work.

Ugh! Damn me!

As hard as that was to do today (since I have not worked out in the morning in weeks now). Being able to say at 7:00 a.m. I already worked out today! I already worked out today! It was completely worth that horrible cold push to the gym.

And yes I am feeling all smug when I ask- What you did this morning?

(But don't worry, next I am thinking Alright, I only have to do that every other day for the rest of my life!)

Why I like Super bowl..

I can scream obscenities, in fact it's encouraged.

Cold beer and horrible for you but yummy food.

Commercials.

d can cook too

egg drop soup...YUM!

norfolk from my car

foggy day

a can cook.....

thai chicken lettuce wraps with hot and cold sesame noodles














and make a mess.

norfolk from my car