My body is a DICK!

So every single time I plan a trip my body decides to get all sick. D and I are going to a hot air balloon fest this Saturday and now my face is all drainy and gross, my left eye is watering, my glands are swollen, my throat hurts from mouth breathing and I keep sneezing. Last trip we went on, same thing and the one before that and the one before that...you get the point. For the love.

Screw you body.. screw you! Next time I am going on a trip I'm not telling you.

Oh and you know how noses don't work so well when they are stuffed up? So I ate chicken garlic soup for lunch and had no idea how horrible my breath was until the end of the day when a pregnant co-worker almost vomited when I talked to her. Nice.

Like I said- my body... total Dick.

LATER THAT NIGHT- my stupid sick mouth can't taste anything, except for possibly maybe the Lusty Monk mustard that D and I just brought back from NC. The mustard that I have been waiting for an excuse to eat, plus it would probably clear out my nose , win win! But the damn Lusty Monk is brand new and stupid sick arms can't open the stupid bottle. Damn you body. Damn you monks and your lusty goodness
taunting me.

LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- I just beat the stupid jar with a knife like my mom showed me to do. Wack wack wack, put a towel over the lid, twist twist twist, grunt grunt grunt. No go. Ahhh. Set the jar down, then grab it up as to suprise it "Ah ha lid take this," wack wack wack, twist twist twist, grunt grunt grunt. Nothing. Walk away sniffiling while giving jar dirty look.


LATER LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- thought the scare tactic would work again. Nope.



LATER LATER LATER LATER THAT NIGHT- D came home and opened the jar.

D- Watch this honey- wack it on the counter.

Me- No no no I did the wack with a knife trick- only my sick arms won't work.

D-Yes that will work, but this is easier- watch. Wack wack, twist. Jar open.

Me-Pfffttt- I'm sick! (dirty look-walk away smiling)