Hot mess

Thursday after a long day at work D and I are about to settle in for the night, have a beer and dinner, when we realize we have no side dish and have to pick up photos for him to take to his family in Florida the next day. Out into the cold once more, we head to Walgreen's. In and out that's the plan, in and out like a flash, one stop shopping all that jazz, get back to his place for coziness and relaxation.

We pick up the photos and look for green beans, (What? They don't have green beans at Walgreen's?!) we had to settle for the $1.29 Budget Gourmet Mac and Cheese (surprisingly good by the way for a processed cheese food). As we were walking away from the "frozen food section", I spied the snack foods. Trail mix and macadamia nuts and wasabi soy almonds, cashews and honey roasted peanuts. Holy jackpot of snack foods....I'm lured by their salty goodness. D gives me the "This is supposed to be in and out!" look. "But!But! Honey! I love the snack food! I need it for my lunch anyway! This is saving time!" Of course it takes me a minute to decide, I keep changing my mind, D is laughing trying to pull me away. I finally grab the plain old boring almonds, still very tasty and they are good for me, at least that's what I tell myself.


We get to the checkout line, after some kicking and screaming; "What do you mean I can't have one of each?". By now the line is long and the customer checking out is arguing with the cashier about why he can't use his computer print out coupons for $1 off Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Nice try buddy, now cough up the dough and go eat your cereal, or don't, just get out of the line.


We wait for Cinnamon Toast Crunch man and wait some more for the 3 other customers. For the love! I want to go home and have a beer and eat my Budget Gourmet Mac and Cheese. At last D pays for his purchase and waits for me to check out.


The cashier rings me up, " $4.15," she says cheerily. I begin to dig in my purse for my check card (I rarely carry cash), dig dig dig. Why didn't I get it out already? dig dig dig Come on where are you stupid card, everyone is waiting?! dig dig dig "Uh, hold on, I'm sorry I can't find my card," I sweetly say to everyone, though too afraid to look up to see the dirty glares. dig dig dig This is so embarassing. Just walk away, just walk quickly away. dig dig dig No, no. What if they call the seciurty guard? It has to be in here. I am just about to dump my whole purse, girl paraphernalia, beat up chap sticks, mints covered in dirt and all, when D makes a move to grab his wallet. D! I desperately look at D "Honey help, I can't find my card." "I got it. Don't worry love," he says, much to my and the now long line's relief. "Thank you! I swear this was not a ploy to get free almonds," I give a little smile.



I continue to dig as we are walking out of the store. "Where in the heck did I put that thing? I can't find my drivers license either!" I panic. "Oh no! My car just got rifled through yesterday what if I left it in there?" "Don't worry I'm sure we'll find it, where is the last place that you had it?" "I don't know, I can't remember!" panic panic panic "Well, what did you do yesterday?" he says calmly. "I didn't use it yesterday, I just went to work and then came to your place!" panic panic.


D patiently walks me through every day like this, while I am panicing and snapping off answers, until we come to Monday. "What did you do Monday?" "Monday, what did I do Monday? I went to the bank, but I remember putting it back in my wallet!" Still patient with no sign of frustration that this is delaying the whole coziness relaxzation plan "Well, what did you wear Monday?" Loudly I reply, "Monday! What did I wear Monday? Oh yea I wore my baggy jeans I remember because Marco said I looked "chill"!" " Baggy Jeans! Baggy jeans!"suddenly I have Tourette's. Calmly he asks "Where are your baggy jeans?" "At my place!"I reply as if he is deaf. "Ok lets go to your place," he patiently says. I wish aloud, "Please for the love be in my pocket!! In my pocket!!"

I drive quickly to my place, race up the slippery metal steps, unlock the door and run to my bedroom. I grab my baggy jeans and squeeze the pockets I feel the hard plastic shape of my card and id. I pull out the card and id, kiss them and do a happy dance and sing "Why don't I just put you back where you belong?!" D is laughing "Silly woman." I hug him, "How the hell were you so patient?" "Because I do the same thing all the time."

We both do the same thing all the time. In fact if you are waiting for us to meet you, and we are late, we are probably having fun- looking for something one of us lost.

Snooze

I am convinced that the 9 minutes hitting the snooze button is supposed to give you is really only 2 minutes.

Bread....

I'm not sure when this bread obsession first began to occur. But I've started to realize I dream about bread quite often.



The other night I dreamt that D and I were out having dinner. When we finished eating we left a tip on the table for the waitress, sixteen dollars. I happened to look back as we walked away and saw a man seated at another table reach over and grab the cash. I ran over to him and snatched the money out of his hand. He began to curse me out, he happened to be a donor that actually had cursed me out that day in reality(more on that in another blog), as I was running back to the kitchen to find the waitress.



That's when I made a fabulous discovery. In the middle of the floor sat a large shiny gum ball machine. This was one of the fancy ones that sends the gumball down a spiral slide with blinking lights and wheels turning. Only this was no gumball machine. No, it made and dispensed croissant bagels. Imagine a croissant shaped into a bagel, with a crusty inside to spread butter upon and the rest is soft and flaky like a croissant.

Bursting with excitment and watching as the croissagels were made then grabbing them with already full hands, I began to look for a bag, when D came and had to drag me away from the machine.

Where are you croissagel machine?

When Monday is Sunday....

Well folks lets just say that if every Monday is like this Monday I will soon need bigger pants!

My new schedule at work has me working every Tues through Sat. So Monday is my new Sunday. Yippee! Only everyone is working so that leaves me to entertain me! So today I decided that entertainment was best found in the kitchen. In the kitchen shoving food in my face to be more exact.

OK well maybe that is not completely true. Marco was off and his parents were in town. They cooked us breakfast; bacon, eggs and biscuits. Normally, I don't eat bacon because every time I eat bacon my stomach decides to do summer salts the rest of the day. Well I didn't want to be rude (no, it had nothing to do with the fact that the bacon smelled good) so I ate the bacon, and as it always does my stomach decided to do cartwheels and back hand springs and other acrobatics.

Being the educated nurse that I am, I decided my best recourse would be to pour lots of hot coffee on top of the bacon. Maybe it will melt the bacon and make my belly feel better. So after 3 cups of coffee I am bouncing off the walls and my stomach is still not happy.(at this point Marco's parents leave and Marco goes to take a shower) I know, I'll confuse the stomach, how about little spice bombs? Handful of wasabi peas... down you go! Well now it's just a war zone in there. What I need is something to absorb all the craziness. Mmmm pineapple upside down cake; that's absorbent right? The upside down cake was pretty damn tasty so I couldn't just eat one bite...oh no!!! I had a huge piece, then I felt all jittery. Too much sugar too much sugar! How about some fiber or protein? I got it! A peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread. At this point my stomach did start to feel a little better, but my throat, my throat was dry. Too much peanut butter.... need liquids! Milk, that's it milk! But you know what goes good with milk? Frosted Flakes! After the frosted flakes I decided; what better time to polish off that box of Brown Sugar Frosted Mini Wheats? Three bowls of cereal later Marco gets out of the shower and sees my misery ridden face. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" I recount what I had just eaten. "Holy shit are you crazy!? "You left me alone in here!! What else was I supposed to do?" He just shook his head and walked in his room.
Ugh.. Monday/Sunday...... I now declare you Workout All Day Day!!

Gettin squirrely

As I was proofreading that blog, a squirrel flew into my window and scared the crap out of me (I am on the second floor) he then proceeded to peer into the window as if looking for his nuts. "I don't have your nuts Mr. Squirrel!" He is still looking in the window right now as I am writing this. It's a little strange. That's a big leap for a little guy. Anyway, that reminded me of a dream I had the other night. Where I was helping a porcupine get ready for court. I was telling him to wear a suit not his jeans. Now I'm really behind... but I'm trying to work on this procrastination problem! He is still squirreling around my window. "I don't have your damn nuts!"

Procrastination

I realized many months, no make that many years ago, that I am a horrible procrastinator. (note the just getting around to writing about it now) Maybe not horrible, horrible has such a negative connotation (procrastinator yes, Polly prissy pants no), how about wonderful? I am a wonderful procrastinator.

I was sitting about yesterday in my normal procrastinator mode; I should clean something, nah, why clean today when I can do it tomorrow as I run about the house preparing for my first day at my new job? That will be a much better use of my time, when I can add procrastination to scatterbrained (a loving term my Mom uses for me) and have a fun filled morning! I will already be scurrying to and fro like a puppy with too many toys.... Where are my socks? Where are my shoes? Where is my nursing license? I'm hungry. I should make some toast. Walk to the toaster. Oh yea I left my wash in the washer, shoot! Walk to the washer. Open the door to unload the washer. I want to listen to some music. Leave the washer open. Look for computer. Turn on computer. Shoot, my clothes! Walk back to washer. Begin to move clothes from washer to dryer. Dang, (yes I really say dang, it's a fun word to say) I didn't hit play. Walk back to computer. Hit play. Gee I'm hungry. Where is my toast? Oh yea I didn't put any toast in the toaster. Walk towards the toaster. Oh, my clothes. Turn towards the washer. Ah, but the bread can be toasting while I finish unloading the washer. Put bread in the toaster. Walk back to the washer, manage to finish loading the dryer. This is so much fun, I should blog about this. Log on to the Internet. Oh yea I want to add some pictures to my Facebook. Look for my camera. Bring my camera to the computer. Hear the toast pop up. Uh, I would have to get off the stool for that. Feel stomach growl. Sip coffee instead. Start to write blog. Hear text message ding. Read text message. Respond to text message. Receive next text message. Respond to text message. Go back to writing blog. Stomach growls. Look longingly at toast. I can eat you on the way out the door. Oh Facebook. Nah that will have to wait. Look at time at bottom of computer screen. Shit!! I still need to shower and clean and eat and find nursing license and shoes and for the love will I ever get organized and finish this damn blog....