Thoughts at a red light.......

So I was sitting in traffic behind some meat head yesterday, staring out into space, thinking of all the things I had to do when I got home. When my vision focused on his license plate which read: 1 BAMF X ..... BAMF meaning Bad Ass Mother Fucker! It was at this point that I began to laugh and forget all about my laundry at home. Instead I checked out the rest of his BAMF stickers all over his BAMF SUV, tons of stickers with more acronyms and probably some stick man with big muscles I don't know I lost track.

First of all, no one who actually is a BAMF has ever had enough time in between uprooting and bench pressing trees, and ripping phone books in half to consider getting a licence plate proclaiming their BAMF status. (Except for Jules in Pulp Fiction, in which case it was a wallet and it said Bad Mother Fucker, adding the Ass is just lame.)
Second, that means that this goober had to go to the DMV and tell the clerk that he wanted that plate. Which means one day he thought to himself.. "I am such a BAMF!! I should get that on my license plate so I can let everyone else know! That's what I'll do.. I'll stop by the DMV right after I drop off my dry cleaning, and before I go to the gym and make way more noise than necessary while lifting, and drinking copious amount of Mega Ripped Weight Gainers Ultra Muscle Hardcore Protein Fuel."
I can imagine the reaction at the DMV the clerk having to suppress the urge to smack him in the head with his plate while spouting "Wow sir, it's not every day I get to meet a real BAMF can I please take a picture of you?" "Gee your muscles are so huge, how do you keep your shirts from ripping?" Stroking his already swollen ego and watching the vein in his forehead bulge. "Sir you better leave soon or you are not going to fit through the door!" The laughs after he left as she tells her co-workers. "Irene, you'll never believe what that moron just got on his license plate!" I envision a cork board in the break room with pictures of people and their stupid plates. He would be right beside all the girls with the QTPIE plates. I always drive faster to glance at those girls and they are never cute.
Third, he is not only a BAMF, but a BAMF X. The X meaning Xtreme?? Sounds more like a new type of energy drink or flavor of Doritos. I guess he is way too cool to be BAMF 2, no that's not acceptable. But X, well that's like bolding and underlining the BAMF! He can probably rip up two phone books at the same time. He probably ties the trees in knots before benching them. He probably can't wipe his own ass without some kind of arm extension tool. All things that make the women swoon. Idiot! But at least he made me laugh and forget about my laundry for a bit.

So Thank You 1 BAMF X, you make the drive home from work so much more enjoyable.