Me- Honey, I think I am going to ask for a flamethrower for Christmas.
D- A flamethrower!? (giving me the- you are insane look)
Me- Yeah, so I can make creme brulee.
D- (laughing) You mean a blow torch.
Me- What's the difference?
D- (still laughing) A flame thrower is a huge machine gun type weapon that shoots flames and causes explosions.
Me- Well that should make a great creme brulee
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A's thought for the day
So apparently some people in this world say they are going to do something and damn if they don't actually do it, right when they said they would. That is mind boggling to me, especially since my path to accomplishment is much longer.
I came upon this discovery yesterday while visiting a friend. I was in his bedroom (he is gay and so it was perfectly acceptable) and I noticed all the decor around his room. He enjoys music so there were musical notes on the walls. There were pictures, recent pictures, in frames. There were colorful items hanging beautifully in all the right spots. It was amazing. He hasn't lived there for very long, almost a year. How is that all possible? Is it just because he is gay? Possibly, but I don't think so.
Here is my path to accomplishment. Think of wonderful idea to accomplish. Think about idea some more. Tell someone that I am thinking of an idea. Listen to their suggestions. Re-think about idea based on what that person said. Tell another person the new version of idea. Listen to their suggestions. Think again about idea. Decide it is time to plan how to actually accomplish idea. Tell people I am planning on completeing idea. Think about idea plan some more. Finally start to complete the idea, stop when half way finished. Show people the partially completed idea. Discuss how wonderful it will be when finished. Then maybe I will finish it. Maybe.
The fact that some people skip that whole process and just complete the idea from the start. Amazing. I am going to think about that some more.
I came upon this discovery yesterday while visiting a friend. I was in his bedroom (he is gay and so it was perfectly acceptable) and I noticed all the decor around his room. He enjoys music so there were musical notes on the walls. There were pictures, recent pictures, in frames. There were colorful items hanging beautifully in all the right spots. It was amazing. He hasn't lived there for very long, almost a year. How is that all possible? Is it just because he is gay? Possibly, but I don't think so.
Here is my path to accomplishment. Think of wonderful idea to accomplish. Think about idea some more. Tell someone that I am thinking of an idea. Listen to their suggestions. Re-think about idea based on what that person said. Tell another person the new version of idea. Listen to their suggestions. Think again about idea. Decide it is time to plan how to actually accomplish idea. Tell people I am planning on completeing idea. Think about idea plan some more. Finally start to complete the idea, stop when half way finished. Show people the partially completed idea. Discuss how wonderful it will be when finished. Then maybe I will finish it. Maybe.
The fact that some people skip that whole process and just complete the idea from the start. Amazing. I am going to think about that some more.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
That's why.. Part Two.
Calm restored we continue to paddle towards the tiny green signs. We paddle at a leisurely pace, looking out towards Ocracoke Island, racing each other, bumping kayaks, having a great time. We start to get close to some fisherman that are standing in the water. They are pretty far out and the water is about to their thighs. We paddle close to them and say hello. It's about that time we come upon the sand bars. The water is so shallow we are unable to paddle the boats and have to climb out and walk across the sand bars pulling our kayaks behind.
"You want me to get out of the kayak?" I ask D.
"Yes love, we won't be able to make it over the sand bar unless we get out." D replies.
"Uh. I didn't plan on getting out."
"Well you kind of have to. Look it's no problem honey, the water is at our calves."
"Calves?"
"Yes, calves. Come one get out, I'll hold your boat."
D holds the boat and I climb out. Luckily I still have on my flip flops so I don't feel the slimy seaweed that is everywhere (this would have been a very different story without those flip flops, slimy yuck on my feet? No thank you.) waving back and forth as the tide comes in and out. I take a few steps and get more comfortable with the fact that I am hundreds of yards away from the shore and the water is up to only my calves.
"Oh this isn't so bad." I say
"Were you scared?"
"Yes, walking when I can't see my feet freaks me out."
"Alright, well there is nothing in this water but minnows. See them?"
Suddenly music from jaws is playing in my head.
"Minnows?" I ask.
"Minnows." D replies.
"Oh I see them!"
Music stops.
"Minnows are cute."
"Honey, you are a goofball." D laughs
"Well they are."
We continue on like this for a while, the sand bar is large and as we pull the kayaks across it I feel the sun beating on my shoulders. Once we reach the end of the sand bar D holds my kayak again as I jump in. He pushes me off into deeper water. I use the push to take off and get a lead on D knowing he will catch up in seconds.
"Now we need to aim our bows more toward the shore because we are getting close to where the ferries turn." D says.
Newsflash freak out. I start paddling like crazy again, my sights set for the shore. The beer has relaxed me enough that I turn and see D point for the shore. I keep paddling paddling my arms starting to ache but I am too determined to slow down.
"Honey that's good. You can rest," D shouts.
I turn my boat towards his and paddle up next to him.
"I'm getting better at this!"
"Good love. Want to take a break?"
I hesitate because I know that means I have to get out of the kayak again.
"Chips, beer, sunblock?" D tempts me.
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I reply
We paddle the short distance to shore. Eat chips, drink our last beer, apply sunblock. We are laughing having a good time. We then consider how much farther we have to go versus how long it took us to get this far. Decide the wind is too strong for us to make it around the point, much less all the way to the beach where everyone is relaxing. We naively think the wind at our backs will make our return trip easier.
Refreshed and ready to go I jump in the kayak. No fear at this point. I start paddling back across when I notice that my kayak keeps turning towards the shore, when I want it to turn away from the shore. D hasn't mentioned it so I assume it's just me as I often have trouble keeping my kayak straight. I have to stick my oar in on the left side of the kayak and hold it there to make my boat turn left then paddle paddle stick paddle paddle stick. It's only been a few hundred yards and already I am exhausted.
"Are you having a hard time keeping your boat straight?" D yells to ask.
"Yes. Why? Are you?" I reply
"Yes. It must be the current."
"What should I do?"
"Just keep doing what your doing."
Paddle paddle stick. Paddle paddle stick. For a long time. The ferry terminal seems like a speck that is not getting any closer.
"It's the wind. It's pushing our boats around." D tells me.
"What should I do?"
"Just keep doing what you're doing. That's the only way to keep the boat straight."
"Stupid wind! I thought you were my friend!" I raise my fist in the air.
Paddle paddle stick. Paddle paddle stick for what seems like an eternity. Finally we reach the sand bar. This time the water is even more shallow. We cross a couple of small sand bars by simply pushing off the ground with our hands til we reach deep water again. This only works for a short time when we are back to pulling the boats behind us. We walk for a while. Now the wind is catching the boat and knocking it into our legs every so often. My flip flops are rubbing my big toes raw. The tiny speck of the ferry terminal is not getting any closer.
The fishermen that we passed earlier out still out and we finally get to them.
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a boat?" The older fat one asks me.
"Hmm." I chuckle.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose of .... your face. Damn it. Why can't I ever come up with a good come back?
D is too far away to hear the smart ass fisherman so I just keep walking and walking and walking. Finally we get to deeper water I have never been so happy to jump in the kayak.
This is where D goes from average guy to the wonderful great guy that I love.
We are paddling along. Our spirits lifting because we have turned directions and the wind is helping us now. But we are still exhausted and ready to get back to the boat ramp. We manage to cross the ferry channel no problem no ferries in sight. There are however quite a few boats driving past heading towards the boat ramp.
"Keep your bow pointed toward the wave, other wise it could flip you over." D says.
"Okay love." I reply
I manage to turn my boat towards the waves and the bow pops over them. It's fun actually the kayak rocking back and forth. But in order for me to keep my bow towards the waves I have to stay still. This does not make for good progress when a boat is passing every few seconds.
"Honey, you can't stop for every boat." D says.
"Well that's what I like to do."
D keeps paddling like a pro. Riding the waves on his way in towards the boat ramp.
I panic as he gets farther ahead.
"Honey come on just paddle it will be fine, the wake is not that big." D says.
"Okay."
I start to paddle, when I see 3 boats heading our way. I start to freak out thinking of D's words. "..or else you'll flip over."
I see myself flipping out of the kayak. The wake starts crashing against my boat, it's rocking me side to side. D is pretty far ahead now, thinking that I am keeping up with him.
"Honey! Honey! HONEY?!!!" I start to scream hysterically.
D hears me and turns around.
"Honey, just paddle!" D yells back to me.
"But I'LL FLIP OVER!! I scream in that 'come help me tone'.
"Honey the water is only two feet deep. You can just stand up!"
Now at this point if I were not me I would want to smack me.
"BUT HONEYYY!!" I say still worked up.
"Honey, you can see the bottom. If you flip over, just stand up." D says
His reassurance calms me and I paddle the rest of the way in to the boat ramp. At the end I actually start to have fun and kind of like the wake. I realize what a nutcase I am and can't believe D didn't lose his patience with me.
We make it to the boat ramp. Load the boats on his truck. We start to talk at the same time.
"I'm sorry I freaked out." I say
"Want some ice cream?" D says.
"You want me to get out of the kayak?" I ask D.
"Yes love, we won't be able to make it over the sand bar unless we get out." D replies.
"Uh. I didn't plan on getting out."
"Well you kind of have to. Look it's no problem honey, the water is at our calves."
"Calves?"
"Yes, calves. Come one get out, I'll hold your boat."
D holds the boat and I climb out. Luckily I still have on my flip flops so I don't feel the slimy seaweed that is everywhere (this would have been a very different story without those flip flops, slimy yuck on my feet? No thank you.) waving back and forth as the tide comes in and out. I take a few steps and get more comfortable with the fact that I am hundreds of yards away from the shore and the water is up to only my calves.
"Oh this isn't so bad." I say
"Were you scared?"
"Yes, walking when I can't see my feet freaks me out."
"Alright, well there is nothing in this water but minnows. See them?"
Suddenly music from jaws is playing in my head.
"Minnows?" I ask.
"Minnows." D replies.
"Oh I see them!"
Music stops.
"Minnows are cute."
"Honey, you are a goofball." D laughs
"Well they are."
We continue on like this for a while, the sand bar is large and as we pull the kayaks across it I feel the sun beating on my shoulders. Once we reach the end of the sand bar D holds my kayak again as I jump in. He pushes me off into deeper water. I use the push to take off and get a lead on D knowing he will catch up in seconds.
"Now we need to aim our bows more toward the shore because we are getting close to where the ferries turn." D says.
Newsflash freak out. I start paddling like crazy again, my sights set for the shore. The beer has relaxed me enough that I turn and see D point for the shore. I keep paddling paddling my arms starting to ache but I am too determined to slow down.
"Honey that's good. You can rest," D shouts.
I turn my boat towards his and paddle up next to him.
"I'm getting better at this!"
"Good love. Want to take a break?"
I hesitate because I know that means I have to get out of the kayak again.
"Chips, beer, sunblock?" D tempts me.
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I reply
We paddle the short distance to shore. Eat chips, drink our last beer, apply sunblock. We are laughing having a good time. We then consider how much farther we have to go versus how long it took us to get this far. Decide the wind is too strong for us to make it around the point, much less all the way to the beach where everyone is relaxing. We naively think the wind at our backs will make our return trip easier.
Refreshed and ready to go I jump in the kayak. No fear at this point. I start paddling back across when I notice that my kayak keeps turning towards the shore, when I want it to turn away from the shore. D hasn't mentioned it so I assume it's just me as I often have trouble keeping my kayak straight. I have to stick my oar in on the left side of the kayak and hold it there to make my boat turn left then paddle paddle stick paddle paddle stick. It's only been a few hundred yards and already I am exhausted.
"Are you having a hard time keeping your boat straight?" D yells to ask.
"Yes. Why? Are you?" I reply
"Yes. It must be the current."
"What should I do?"
"Just keep doing what your doing."
Paddle paddle stick. Paddle paddle stick. For a long time. The ferry terminal seems like a speck that is not getting any closer.
"It's the wind. It's pushing our boats around." D tells me.
"What should I do?"
"Just keep doing what you're doing. That's the only way to keep the boat straight."
"Stupid wind! I thought you were my friend!" I raise my fist in the air.
Paddle paddle stick. Paddle paddle stick for what seems like an eternity. Finally we reach the sand bar. This time the water is even more shallow. We cross a couple of small sand bars by simply pushing off the ground with our hands til we reach deep water again. This only works for a short time when we are back to pulling the boats behind us. We walk for a while. Now the wind is catching the boat and knocking it into our legs every so often. My flip flops are rubbing my big toes raw. The tiny speck of the ferry terminal is not getting any closer.
The fishermen that we passed earlier out still out and we finally get to them.
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a boat?" The older fat one asks me.
"Hmm." I chuckle.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose of .... your face. Damn it. Why can't I ever come up with a good come back?
D is too far away to hear the smart ass fisherman so I just keep walking and walking and walking. Finally we get to deeper water I have never been so happy to jump in the kayak.
This is where D goes from average guy to the wonderful great guy that I love.
We are paddling along. Our spirits lifting because we have turned directions and the wind is helping us now. But we are still exhausted and ready to get back to the boat ramp. We manage to cross the ferry channel no problem no ferries in sight. There are however quite a few boats driving past heading towards the boat ramp.
"Keep your bow pointed toward the wave, other wise it could flip you over." D says.
"Okay love." I reply
I manage to turn my boat towards the waves and the bow pops over them. It's fun actually the kayak rocking back and forth. But in order for me to keep my bow towards the waves I have to stay still. This does not make for good progress when a boat is passing every few seconds.
"Honey, you can't stop for every boat." D says.
"Well that's what I like to do."
D keeps paddling like a pro. Riding the waves on his way in towards the boat ramp.
I panic as he gets farther ahead.
"Honey come on just paddle it will be fine, the wake is not that big." D says.
"Okay."
I start to paddle, when I see 3 boats heading our way. I start to freak out thinking of D's words. "..or else you'll flip over."
I see myself flipping out of the kayak. The wake starts crashing against my boat, it's rocking me side to side. D is pretty far ahead now, thinking that I am keeping up with him.
"Honey! Honey! HONEY?!!!" I start to scream hysterically.
D hears me and turns around.
"Honey, just paddle!" D yells back to me.
"But I'LL FLIP OVER!! I scream in that 'come help me tone'.
"Honey the water is only two feet deep. You can just stand up!"
Now at this point if I were not me I would want to smack me.
"BUT HONEYYY!!" I say still worked up.
"Honey, you can see the bottom. If you flip over, just stand up." D says
His reassurance calms me and I paddle the rest of the way in to the boat ramp. At the end I actually start to have fun and kind of like the wake. I realize what a nutcase I am and can't believe D didn't lose his patience with me.
We make it to the boat ramp. Load the boats on his truck. We start to talk at the same time.
"I'm sorry I freaked out." I say
"Want some ice cream?" D says.
This just in
Ever have those moments of clarity where some little (or possibly big depending.. it could reach down to your very core and change your entire world or it may just fleet across the big screen of your brain) strange part of yourself sudenly makes sense? It may even be more then makes sense, it may be a part that shows itself, something you didn't know existed let alone that it was affecting every part of you and how you react in say.. relationships. ("Hi. I'm a strange part of you. I've always been here. You just didn't know it. Now that you know about me your life will be easier".) (the word 'revelation' as defined by A.)
One of those moments just flashed across my screen. Only it was more like a movie trailer that leads into a movie of me that I forgot existed and now I see that movie from a different light. Roll Camera 2. Take- who the hell knows.
I was in the kitchen pulling apart some chicken legs to make chicken salad for dinner. I was making a plan in my head; I'll finish the chicken legs so they can cool. Go take a nice long shower- it's hard to concentrate on writing all sweaty. Then write until maybe 4 and start making dinner. Then D will be home, we'll eat dinner and have a glass of wine. Leave out some cheese and wine for Janelle to munch before I give her a massage. Then we will get ready to go dancing. Oh dancing, hope a lot of people show up. Can't wait. This has been a nice day. Took Chance for a walk. Got some stuff done around the house. This being home alone on a weekday isn't so bad. I have not felt guilty once today for having a nice day by myself.
This is where the movie screen flashed.
Holy Shit! I like to be alone sometimes. I like to be alone, but only when I know that the alone time is coming to an end. I'm having fun because I know that D will be home around 5 and I have all day to myself. It's not alone I don't like. It's the not knowing when alone will end. No wonder I can get clinging sometimes. Jesus christ.
I see the Camera 2 flash back.
"When are you coming over?" I say to D.
"I don't know let me see how I feel," D replies.
"Ok, just shoot me a text." I say, trying so hard to play it cool but inside. (See how you feel? What does that mean? Could be an hour? Could be two days? Whatever. I just need to know.)
In the movie I see myself try to occupy myself for a few minutes. Then I become uneasy with the unknown alone. I pace around the house not able to concentrate on any task. What if I start something and then he wants to come over? Or what if someone else calls? I know I'll call Cheryl and then see what she is doing.
I call Cheryl and feel better. We are going to meet for a drink at Schucks at 9.
Okay I have time to read my book, drink a glass of wine-that will save me buying one drink at the bar. Then take a bath, listen to music, straighten my hair. Oh what am I going to wear?
See when I experienced that on Camera 1, I felt so guilty for wanting to know when I would see D. I thought I was some crazy clingy girl. But really I just wanted to know when I would see someone I care about. (not that I didn't want to see you honey. i'm making a point here)
I don't like open ended alone time. One hour-great. One week-awesome. Just give me some time frame so I can plan out my self entertainment, or the need for it.
This brings up other questions for me. Does the fact that I don't like open ended alone time make me weak? Are the people out there that love solitude stronger? Is the fact that I love to be around people more than I like to be alone sad? Was I born with this need to be around people? Or was I taught this other people dependence? Is this some passive aggressive way of loathing myself? Or is this normal?
I don't think I loathe myself. I like my alone time. I like to complete projects by myself. I talk to myself often and I think I'm pretty cool. Kind of dorky. But kind of funny too. I make myself laugh. What more can one ask for really? Maybe the fact that I know what makes me happy makes me stronger? I get joy from being around other people. Therefore I seek them out and make plans.
So at any rate, there is my revelation movie moment. I know what I like. Now I just need to ask for it.
One of those moments just flashed across my screen. Only it was more like a movie trailer that leads into a movie of me that I forgot existed and now I see that movie from a different light. Roll Camera 2. Take- who the hell knows.
I was in the kitchen pulling apart some chicken legs to make chicken salad for dinner. I was making a plan in my head; I'll finish the chicken legs so they can cool. Go take a nice long shower- it's hard to concentrate on writing all sweaty. Then write until maybe 4 and start making dinner. Then D will be home, we'll eat dinner and have a glass of wine. Leave out some cheese and wine for Janelle to munch before I give her a massage. Then we will get ready to go dancing. Oh dancing, hope a lot of people show up. Can't wait. This has been a nice day. Took Chance for a walk. Got some stuff done around the house. This being home alone on a weekday isn't so bad. I have not felt guilty once today for having a nice day by myself.
This is where the movie screen flashed.
Holy Shit! I like to be alone sometimes. I like to be alone, but only when I know that the alone time is coming to an end. I'm having fun because I know that D will be home around 5 and I have all day to myself. It's not alone I don't like. It's the not knowing when alone will end. No wonder I can get clinging sometimes. Jesus christ.
I see the Camera 2 flash back.
"When are you coming over?" I say to D.
"I don't know let me see how I feel," D replies.
"Ok, just shoot me a text." I say, trying so hard to play it cool but inside. (See how you feel? What does that mean? Could be an hour? Could be two days? Whatever. I just need to know.)
In the movie I see myself try to occupy myself for a few minutes. Then I become uneasy with the unknown alone. I pace around the house not able to concentrate on any task. What if I start something and then he wants to come over? Or what if someone else calls? I know I'll call Cheryl and then see what she is doing.
I call Cheryl and feel better. We are going to meet for a drink at Schucks at 9.
Okay I have time to read my book, drink a glass of wine-that will save me buying one drink at the bar. Then take a bath, listen to music, straighten my hair. Oh what am I going to wear?
See when I experienced that on Camera 1, I felt so guilty for wanting to know when I would see D. I thought I was some crazy clingy girl. But really I just wanted to know when I would see someone I care about. (not that I didn't want to see you honey. i'm making a point here)
I don't like open ended alone time. One hour-great. One week-awesome. Just give me some time frame so I can plan out my self entertainment, or the need for it.
This brings up other questions for me. Does the fact that I don't like open ended alone time make me weak? Are the people out there that love solitude stronger? Is the fact that I love to be around people more than I like to be alone sad? Was I born with this need to be around people? Or was I taught this other people dependence? Is this some passive aggressive way of loathing myself? Or is this normal?
I don't think I loathe myself. I like my alone time. I like to complete projects by myself. I talk to myself often and I think I'm pretty cool. Kind of dorky. But kind of funny too. I make myself laugh. What more can one ask for really? Maybe the fact that I know what makes me happy makes me stronger? I get joy from being around other people. Therefore I seek them out and make plans.
So at any rate, there is my revelation movie moment. I know what I like. Now I just need to ask for it.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
That's why..
D and I just came back from our family vacation in Hatteras. Well when I say, our family, I mean his family, but I absolutely love his family. The crew included D's Dad and wonderful girlfriend Lynn, her daughter, D's older brother and sister, all the spouses, a gaggle of cute kids and two puppies. The house was bustling and we all kept joking that this is what it would be like to live in a commune. We absolutely had a blast and can't wait to do it again.
During one of many lazy days on the beach D's sister and I went for a stroll. As big sisters often do she inquired about her baby brother's relationship, it went something like this.
"So how are you and my brother doing?"
"Great!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you're brother is a great guy."
"Tell me more."
I think I throw out some adjectives like "Caring, loving, funny." Which of course are all true, but I think this little tale paints a better picture.
It's the next to last day on vacation and D and I have yet to take the kayaks out for a ride. We decide the surf on the ocean side is way too rough to make it out without taking on water and flipping. We instead drive around the island to the sound side. We find a boat ramp and unload the kayaks. We apply gobs of sunblock on each other, fasten our life jackets and off we go.
"Let's go around the point and kayak down to where everyone is relaxing on the beach," I say.
"Alright let's give it a go." D replies.
First of all let me give you all a little back ground on me and my ability to swim. Lets just say it's slightly above nil, but lower than adequate. If forced I could doggie paddle for quite a while, but not without panic setting in, making my palms sweat (if that's possible in the water) and my heart feeling like it's going to explode. But like my other fears (heights, rats biting my toes, and spiders) I am making an effort to over come them (well at least the heights part, rats and spiders please keep your distance and I'll try not to shriek and swing brooms at you.)
OK so where was I? Oh Yes.
Me = sucks at swimming (and as you'll see, judging the depth of water).
D= former lifeguard/possibly part fish.
So here we are paddling out across the sound towards the point. All is well, we are paddling against the wind but we are going at a steady rate and having a good time. We get to the channel where the ferries are crossing.
"Honey, just hold back a minute and let those ferries pass and then we'll go across." D says.
"Okay, hand me a beer." (I know, brilliant right? But it's vacation.)
Beer cracked, and half gulped.
"Alright love, see that channel marker over there?"
"The really tiny green sign?"
"Yes. Aim your bow at that marker."
"Okay. Like shooting a gun right?"
"Yes, now let's hurry before another ferry comes."
This is the point where my imagination fires into overdrive. I see headlines in papers.
Girl kayaking while on vacation crushed by Ferry. Witnesses say,"The Captain kept blowing the horn she just wouldn't move!"
My brain now in freak out mode, I lean forward (I'm convinced this gives me more power) and paddle like the Dickens. I imagine smoke coming off the water. I try to glance back at D (but honestly I don't like to turn around for fear of flipping the kayak) don't see him, decided to keep paddling as if my life depends on it. Finally after what seems like years I hear.
"Honey, you can slow down now."
"Are you sure?" paddle paddle paddle for extra measure.
"Honey, I'm sure."
"Whoa!! Did you see me? I was like a speed demon!"
"You were great love." chuckle chuckle.
"I know. That was awesome."
Now at this point we have not even paddled a mile, but my arms are a little fatigued. I look over at D and he is paddling effortlessly. The stubborn part of me says, I got this. I work out all the time! Oh and I have beer. Sip Sip.
(due to poor time management you will have to come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion)
During one of many lazy days on the beach D's sister and I went for a stroll. As big sisters often do she inquired about her baby brother's relationship, it went something like this.
"So how are you and my brother doing?"
"Great!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you're brother is a great guy."
"Tell me more."
I think I throw out some adjectives like "Caring, loving, funny." Which of course are all true, but I think this little tale paints a better picture.
It's the next to last day on vacation and D and I have yet to take the kayaks out for a ride. We decide the surf on the ocean side is way too rough to make it out without taking on water and flipping. We instead drive around the island to the sound side. We find a boat ramp and unload the kayaks. We apply gobs of sunblock on each other, fasten our life jackets and off we go.
"Let's go around the point and kayak down to where everyone is relaxing on the beach," I say.
"Alright let's give it a go." D replies.
First of all let me give you all a little back ground on me and my ability to swim. Lets just say it's slightly above nil, but lower than adequate. If forced I could doggie paddle for quite a while, but not without panic setting in, making my palms sweat (if that's possible in the water) and my heart feeling like it's going to explode. But like my other fears (heights, rats biting my toes, and spiders) I am making an effort to over come them (well at least the heights part, rats and spiders please keep your distance and I'll try not to shriek and swing brooms at you.)
OK so where was I? Oh Yes.
Me = sucks at swimming (and as you'll see, judging the depth of water).
D= former lifeguard/possibly part fish.
So here we are paddling out across the sound towards the point. All is well, we are paddling against the wind but we are going at a steady rate and having a good time. We get to the channel where the ferries are crossing.
"Honey, just hold back a minute and let those ferries pass and then we'll go across." D says.
"Okay, hand me a beer." (I know, brilliant right? But it's vacation.)
Beer cracked, and half gulped.
"Alright love, see that channel marker over there?"
"The really tiny green sign?"
"Yes. Aim your bow at that marker."
"Okay. Like shooting a gun right?"
"Yes, now let's hurry before another ferry comes."
This is the point where my imagination fires into overdrive. I see headlines in papers.
Girl kayaking while on vacation crushed by Ferry. Witnesses say,"The Captain kept blowing the horn she just wouldn't move!"
My brain now in freak out mode, I lean forward (I'm convinced this gives me more power) and paddle like the Dickens. I imagine smoke coming off the water. I try to glance back at D (but honestly I don't like to turn around for fear of flipping the kayak) don't see him, decided to keep paddling as if my life depends on it. Finally after what seems like years I hear.
"Honey, you can slow down now."
"Are you sure?" paddle paddle paddle for extra measure.
"Honey, I'm sure."
"Whoa!! Did you see me? I was like a speed demon!"
"You were great love." chuckle chuckle.
"I know. That was awesome."
Now at this point we have not even paddled a mile, but my arms are a little fatigued. I look over at D and he is paddling effortlessly. The stubborn part of me says, I got this. I work out all the time! Oh and I have beer. Sip Sip.
(due to poor time management you will have to come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
In a robe
This morning after kissing D goodbye, I was sipping my coffee and checking my email (alright facebook) when D comes running back in the house, "Love, you're blocking me."
Since I was sipping my coffee and checking my face book in my birthday suit (I apologize(not really) to family members who didn't realize I even had a birthday suit, much less that I often wear it.) I ran and slipped on my beautiful black and red silky robe. I jogged out to the drive way, knowing D was already running late, and was jumping into my car when I noticed our down stairs neighbor had his car hood up. D bellowed, "Just pull back and then in front of me so I can give him a jump."
What was meant to be a 30 second foray outside in my robe turned into helping with the 'jumping' process. "Love, will you hold the cables up in the middle so they reach?" "I can do that." But then they little truck that D drives to work decided it's engine was not capable of saving another. It did a little choke choke cough and the neighbors engine would not turn over.
Then D pulls out the big gun, specifically his huge Dodge RAM 1500 V8. The neighbor and I laughed at the size of the battery, the engine was so loud we could not hear each other. Instead we did this mime point, hands apart for 'freaking huge', head back chuckle.
Well the Dodge being the beast that it is, would not fit in the space between the neighbors car and the porch. So there I was in my black and red silky robe that is not known for staying closed, pushing the neighbors car back so D could jump it with The Beast. I felt a little vulnerable watching that I wasn't giving anyone a show, but I also felt like I was in some strange artsy photo shoot of girls in robes working on cars.
It took only seconds for the neighbor's car to spring to life. I hightailed it back inside, after a kiss from D, "Have a good day, sexy!" I love that robe.
Since I was sipping my coffee and checking my face book in my birthday suit (I apologize(not really) to family members who didn't realize I even had a birthday suit, much less that I often wear it.) I ran and slipped on my beautiful black and red silky robe. I jogged out to the drive way, knowing D was already running late, and was jumping into my car when I noticed our down stairs neighbor had his car hood up. D bellowed, "Just pull back and then in front of me so I can give him a jump."
What was meant to be a 30 second foray outside in my robe turned into helping with the 'jumping' process. "Love, will you hold the cables up in the middle so they reach?" "I can do that." But then they little truck that D drives to work decided it's engine was not capable of saving another. It did a little choke choke cough and the neighbors engine would not turn over.
Then D pulls out the big gun, specifically his huge Dodge RAM 1500 V8. The neighbor and I laughed at the size of the battery, the engine was so loud we could not hear each other. Instead we did this mime point, hands apart for 'freaking huge', head back chuckle.
Well the Dodge being the beast that it is, would not fit in the space between the neighbors car and the porch. So there I was in my black and red silky robe that is not known for staying closed, pushing the neighbors car back so D could jump it with The Beast. I felt a little vulnerable watching that I wasn't giving anyone a show, but I also felt like I was in some strange artsy photo shoot of girls in robes working on cars.
It took only seconds for the neighbor's car to spring to life. I hightailed it back inside, after a kiss from D, "Have a good day, sexy!" I love that robe.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sick is good..
So at any rate, this week I found that being sick once in a while is a good thing. Though, you could not have convinced me of that Monday, while I was the color of the porcelain I was peering into, praying to any God that would listen to "Please make it stop!" Then the next day as I could not fathom why anyone on earth would eat anything, ever. But two days later when I was finally able to smell food and then actually eat food, it was such a wonderful feeling and I did indeed jump for joy... "I feel better!" clap clap kick. (ask D it's true) Plus as a bonus I lost 3lbs. Maybe that little virus knew I have a beach vacation coming up and what girl doesn't want to lose some weight before braving the beach clad in bikini? Thank you icky virus you made me appreciate my normally functioning stomach.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Seriously
Someone stole the pretty red millions bells right off our front porch. I left for work Sat morning and the two hanging flowers that we call 'the girls' were there. A few hours later D texts me
"Did you move the girls?"
"Why would I move the girls?"
"I think someone stole them!"
I didn't really believe him until I got home and saw for myself they were gone.
Seriously people, buy your own damn flowers!
"Did you move the girls?"
"Why would I move the girls?"
"I think someone stole them!"
I didn't really believe him until I got home and saw for myself they were gone.
Seriously people, buy your own damn flowers!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
coffee
Is it strange that I get excited at night as I prepare my coffee pot for the morning? I always think "Mmm.. in the morning I get to drink coffee."
sometimes
Sometimes, I say the dorkiest things. Two seconds after leaving my lips and I am already embarrassed. Depending on the company I may press lips together turning them white and hoping no one noticed. Or like tonight I may call myself out (hoping to distract my company).
Tonight D and I after long days at work, went out to have drinks with friends. A celebration for a friend who just got the news he was accepted into Wintertur. On the ride to the bar we decide we are not going to stay long because we are both tired.
After dinner a couple of drinks, and lots of fabulous conversation, I look at my phone and realize... IT'S AFTER 9! Ahh because we wanted to take a bath, relax and go to bed early. 9 is past my bedtime. Well, at least most nights. We make our excuses to friends and scurry to the car.
Once home D is drawing a bath. I walk in and play with his hair as he is leaning over swirling the warm water with his arm. "I am so tired," he moans. "I think we should have stayed home." "I don't think so," I respond. My fingers making his hair into a spiky mess. "Sleep may fuel our bodies, but those moments with friends fuel our soul," I try to clarify. Then I hear the words repeated in my head. "That was really corny wasn't it?" I giggle, my cheeks flushing. "Yes, but that's one of the reasons I love you," he says as he splashes me.
Tonight D and I after long days at work, went out to have drinks with friends. A celebration for a friend who just got the news he was accepted into Wintertur. On the ride to the bar we decide we are not going to stay long because we are both tired.
After dinner a couple of drinks, and lots of fabulous conversation, I look at my phone and realize... IT'S AFTER 9! Ahh because we wanted to take a bath, relax and go to bed early. 9 is past my bedtime. Well, at least most nights. We make our excuses to friends and scurry to the car.
Once home D is drawing a bath. I walk in and play with his hair as he is leaning over swirling the warm water with his arm. "I am so tired," he moans. "I think we should have stayed home." "I don't think so," I respond. My fingers making his hair into a spiky mess. "Sleep may fuel our bodies, but those moments with friends fuel our soul," I try to clarify. Then I hear the words repeated in my head. "That was really corny wasn't it?" I giggle, my cheeks flushing. "Yes, but that's one of the reasons I love you," he says as he splashes me.
retro
my procrastination does not allow for posts to be timely. just be glad there is something new to read. and if the timeline doesn't match up... well who says that it has to?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
ink blot
I was at the gym this morning doing my normal weight lifting work out. As I went to wipe my sweat of the seat I realized it looked like an ink blot. It did this each time I moved machines. So what did I see in my sweaty ink blots?
Coffee. Two people dancing. Mountains. Steaming bread.
I shall listen to my sweat.
Coffee. Two people dancing. Mountains. Steaming bread.
I shall listen to my sweat.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Blog more
It's hard to dance like no one is watching when you know someone is watching. But I've never had a hard time dancing however in front of whomever. It's writing that has my tongue. I realized that I have been coming up with lots of ideas to blog, but then I don't follow through, scared of how I sound to others. Then I was jogging this morning (yeah me) and it hit me. Anyone who is reading this (all 3 of you) wants to hear the crazy thoughts in my brain or they wouldn't read it. So here is my attempt to force my own hand. I Shall blog at least twice a week. Don't look.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Ice cream
I am sitting on my balcony enjoying the late evening sunshine and cool breeze, listening to the children play in the street. When I hear the familiar jingle of the ice cream man's tune, luring the children.
I am immediately transported to my childhood and I have the feeling I should be running inside screaming "Ice Cream Man!" and hoping my Mom will give me money, or helping my baby brother raid our piggy banks. "Hurry up or we'll miss him!" I must have said those words a hundred times.
I can hear the change clanging on the metal window counter. I can feel the ice cream man's patient stare as I slowly drag each penny to one side "1 2 3 4 5", how happy he must have been the year I learned to count by twos then fives.
I'm staring at the ice cream truck lost in my reverie when my gaze focuses on a large sign above the pictures of ice creams: NOW ACCEPTING MOST MAJOR CREDIT CARDS. The ice cream man accepts credit cards? I notice the children mostly standing with their parents. Pointing to which ice cream they want their parents sliding their plastic card.
I am saddened. There is nothing learned in this experience for them. There are no hard choices. "Well I can get one twin pop, two pieces of gum and candy teeth and share. Or I can get one screwball."( I always shared, but I would often make sure my half of the twin pop was bigger, because I was older, of course.) Or the excitement of finally having enough money to buy the coveted Mickey Mouse or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bars. There is no need to open a lemonade stand to raise money. No doing odd chores for a dime. "Just hand me the plastic Mom I can get whatever I want and then not appreciate it."
Call me old fashioned but I would prefer the sign said; NOW ACCEPTING PENNIES.
I am immediately transported to my childhood and I have the feeling I should be running inside screaming "Ice Cream Man!" and hoping my Mom will give me money, or helping my baby brother raid our piggy banks. "Hurry up or we'll miss him!" I must have said those words a hundred times.
I can hear the change clanging on the metal window counter. I can feel the ice cream man's patient stare as I slowly drag each penny to one side "1 2 3 4 5", how happy he must have been the year I learned to count by twos then fives.
I'm staring at the ice cream truck lost in my reverie when my gaze focuses on a large sign above the pictures of ice creams: NOW ACCEPTING MOST MAJOR CREDIT CARDS. The ice cream man accepts credit cards? I notice the children mostly standing with their parents. Pointing to which ice cream they want their parents sliding their plastic card.
I am saddened. There is nothing learned in this experience for them. There are no hard choices. "Well I can get one twin pop, two pieces of gum and candy teeth and share. Or I can get one screwball."( I always shared, but I would often make sure my half of the twin pop was bigger, because I was older, of course.) Or the excitement of finally having enough money to buy the coveted Mickey Mouse or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bars. There is no need to open a lemonade stand to raise money. No doing odd chores for a dime. "Just hand me the plastic Mom I can get whatever I want and then not appreciate it."
Call me old fashioned but I would prefer the sign said; NOW ACCEPTING PENNIES.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Thank you Kate Winslet
I saw the movie The Reader the other night with a girlfriend. Since I don't watch TV much, I had no clue what the movie was about. NOT a light little chick flick. No giggles or tears of joy even.
One positive thing did come from the movie. Kate Winslet exposes her breasts, many times. If Kate Winslet does not have perfect perky breasts. Then I can hardly be expected to. So I say.. Thank you Kate Winslet. You did a superb acting job, and it's so nice to see a natural woman in the lime light.
One positive thing did come from the movie. Kate Winslet exposes her breasts, many times. If Kate Winslet does not have perfect perky breasts. Then I can hardly be expected to. So I say.. Thank you Kate Winslet. You did a superb acting job, and it's so nice to see a natural woman in the lime light.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
love
"I have nothin but love for you, baby!", I wonder if he really truly means that.
The black man walking down the street. The extremely happy and satisfied looking black man in movies that says "I have nothin but love for you, baby," to other people, any people, all people.
If that is really true, then that man is much wiser than he appears. Because the type of love he is talking about is the type of love that makes you extremely happy and satisfied.
The black man walking down the street. The extremely happy and satisfied looking black man in movies that says "I have nothin but love for you, baby," to other people, any people, all people.
If that is really true, then that man is much wiser than he appears. Because the type of love he is talking about is the type of love that makes you extremely happy and satisfied.
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